One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.
He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Emptying the Doctor's Waiting Room
A patient goes to the doctor's office where, much to his surprise the doctor asks him, "Would you please help me with a problem I'm having?"
Sure, doctor, what can I do for you, says the patient.
"Would you scream in the most earsplitting, piercing screams you can manage? Try to make it sound as if you're in terrible pain." The doctor says.
"But why, doctor, you've always been gentle with me and your treatments have never caused me any pain?" Asks the patient.
"Yes," Says the doctor in a matter-of-fact tone, "but I have a 4 o'clock tee time at the golf course I don't want to miss, and my waiting room is still full of patients."
Sure, doctor, what can I do for you, says the patient.
"Would you scream in the most earsplitting, piercing screams you can manage? Try to make it sound as if you're in terrible pain." The doctor says.
"But why, doctor, you've always been gentle with me and your treatments have never caused me any pain?" Asks the patient.
"Yes," Says the doctor in a matter-of-fact tone, "but I have a 4 o'clock tee time at the golf course I don't want to miss, and my waiting room is still full of patients."
Facts About Old Men and Women
Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?
A: Look in the library-------under Romantic Fiction.
Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?
A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live.
Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?
A: She should tell him she's with child.
Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?
A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.
Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?
A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.
Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?
A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.
Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?
A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon
Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads.
Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?
A: 'Gee, I have one of these.'
A: Look in the library-------under Romantic Fiction.
Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?
A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live.
Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?
A: She should tell him she's with child.
Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?
A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.
Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?
A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.
Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?
A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.
Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?
A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon
Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?
A: On top of their heads.
Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?
A: 'Gee, I have one of these.'
Cinderella Would Be Shocked
Sure, there are some pretty stupid criminals out there. Yet this excerpt from a Washington Post article proves that not all criminals are dumb – in fact, some are so clever that the Post labeled this article, "The Best Comeback Line Ever"
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, Picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's... just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Darn...is it midnight already?"
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, Picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's... just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Darn...is it midnight already?"
Funny Animals
Hahahahaha............
")n_n("
"Please....... Dont Kill Me.........."
Huahhahahahahahahha.....
'')*_*(''
Sing A Song...............
Hahahahahhahaha......
")n_n("
"Time To Work"
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Kidding me softly with his words by Article Marketing
ow, what a month it's been. I've spent the past several weeks researching and testing the waters with online article submissions.
Imagine yourself as a newbie in article marketing (maybe this isn't so hard to imagine for a lot of you!). Now imagine you're submitting your first few articles to the various article banks and directories. You are quickly learning the hard way what's allowed and what's not. And you're learning just how much time the whole process can take, too.
Trial by fire, I guess you could call it.
That was me a couple of weeks ago, trying my best to get a handle on all the various publishers and their requirements. Who takes 500 word articles? Who wants longer pieces? Can I send in something with HTML, or does it have to be plain text? What categories do they want? What topics? Yikes, it's a lot to remember. And my articles...well, let's just say the publishers weren't showing me much love.
And I was spending weary too much time doing these submissions. Input each article, format it just so, and choose the right categories (which are different at each site), tweak and poke and prod till I had it just right. Honestly, I think I could have built and painted a billboard in the time it took me to get just a handful of articles out there. Surely there had to be a better way.
So I started searching. And I found several article distribution services out there, including SubmitYourArticle.com, ThePhantomWriters.com, isnare.com and ArticleMarketer.com.
All of these services get pretty good reviews, judging by the testimonials on their websites. Some offer "pay-per-article" pricing, and others offer unlimited submissions for one price. I like the idea of unlimited articles, since I do tend to write...a lot!
I chose to buy a quarterly account with one of the distribution services to get started. And I have to tell you...automated article distribution is so much easier than manual distribution. What was taking me hours (submitting to individual article directories and publishers) now takes minutes. And I don't have to keep track of which publishers want which articles, and how to format them and categorize them. Automated article distribution takes care of all those details, leaving me free to do the work I love!
My articles are getting picked up by more publishers than I could have imagined. My very first article ended up getting some great exposure (one day I had more than 300 links on Google and 980 links showing on Yahoo!). It was even reprinted on a Chinese website! I could never have gotten this kind of exposure doing all these submissions by hand.
I'm convinced; automated article distribution is the way to go.
A few words of caution, though, which I've picked up from some very helpful people at a number of forums and blogs:
* Write for the right reasons. Submit articles that are full of good information, not just keywords. It's really about educating the reader, not stuffing the search engines with keywords.
* Be original. Use your own thoughts and ideas, not rehashed or (gasp!) plagiarized content.
* Offer the reader something they can relate to. Make it personal. If the reader wanted to learn from a textbook, they'd go back to school.
* Have fun! Writing can be a joy, and a great way to feel connected with your audience. If you hate to write, it will show! Hire a ghostwriter to work with you, and the tone will be improved by leaps and bounds.
If you are looking for new ways to increase your exposure and build traffic to your URL, consider article marketing. Don't worry if you don't consider yourself a "writer." Just write about what you know, what's important to you, and what you think you'd like your readers to know. Then submit an article, and watch it make magic. It's really working for me, and I know it can work for you too!
^_^
Article Source: Post articles free
Imagine yourself as a newbie in article marketing (maybe this isn't so hard to imagine for a lot of you!). Now imagine you're submitting your first few articles to the various article banks and directories. You are quickly learning the hard way what's allowed and what's not. And you're learning just how much time the whole process can take, too.
Trial by fire, I guess you could call it.
That was me a couple of weeks ago, trying my best to get a handle on all the various publishers and their requirements. Who takes 500 word articles? Who wants longer pieces? Can I send in something with HTML, or does it have to be plain text? What categories do they want? What topics? Yikes, it's a lot to remember. And my articles...well, let's just say the publishers weren't showing me much love.
And I was spending weary too much time doing these submissions. Input each article, format it just so, and choose the right categories (which are different at each site), tweak and poke and prod till I had it just right. Honestly, I think I could have built and painted a billboard in the time it took me to get just a handful of articles out there. Surely there had to be a better way.
So I started searching. And I found several article distribution services out there, including SubmitYourArticle.com, ThePhantomWriters.com, isnare.com and ArticleMarketer.com.
All of these services get pretty good reviews, judging by the testimonials on their websites. Some offer "pay-per-article" pricing, and others offer unlimited submissions for one price. I like the idea of unlimited articles, since I do tend to write...a lot!
I chose to buy a quarterly account with one of the distribution services to get started. And I have to tell you...automated article distribution is so much easier than manual distribution. What was taking me hours (submitting to individual article directories and publishers) now takes minutes. And I don't have to keep track of which publishers want which articles, and how to format them and categorize them. Automated article distribution takes care of all those details, leaving me free to do the work I love!
My articles are getting picked up by more publishers than I could have imagined. My very first article ended up getting some great exposure (one day I had more than 300 links on Google and 980 links showing on Yahoo!). It was even reprinted on a Chinese website! I could never have gotten this kind of exposure doing all these submissions by hand.
I'm convinced; automated article distribution is the way to go.
A few words of caution, though, which I've picked up from some very helpful people at a number of forums and blogs:
* Write for the right reasons. Submit articles that are full of good information, not just keywords. It's really about educating the reader, not stuffing the search engines with keywords.
* Be original. Use your own thoughts and ideas, not rehashed or (gasp!) plagiarized content.
* Offer the reader something they can relate to. Make it personal. If the reader wanted to learn from a textbook, they'd go back to school.
* Have fun! Writing can be a joy, and a great way to feel connected with your audience. If you hate to write, it will show! Hire a ghostwriter to work with you, and the tone will be improved by leaps and bounds.
If you are looking for new ways to increase your exposure and build traffic to your URL, consider article marketing. Don't worry if you don't consider yourself a "writer." Just write about what you know, what's important to you, and what you think you'd like your readers to know. Then submit an article, and watch it make magic. It's really working for me, and I know it can work for you too!
^_^
Article Source: Post articles free
Maradona unhappy with refereeing…you’re kidding, right?
Diego Maradona voiced his displeasure in the officiating of last night’s 2-0 Argentina win over Greece in Polokwane. While his side eased through the group stages unscathed, the Albiceleste manager was enraged with the decisions of referee Irmatov, suggesting the Greeks were reckless with their challenges.
“We’ve said it many times before. For me it’s about Fair Play. Every time [Lionel] Messi had the ball [the Greeks] fouled him to get the ball,” said Maradona in a news conference after the game.
“The Greeks played hard, but were not punished.”
Of course Maradona didn’t mention the illegal challenges put in by his players, particularly considering three Greek players went down to injury after some rough-stuff by the biggest sourpusses in the tournament.
A less pro-Argentina look at the match will show that the Argentines were no saints in their tackling, and frankly the Greeks were the most legal of Argentina’s opponents so far in marking Messi and the rest of the Albicelestes.
In fact, world football might have found the anecdote to ‘La Pulga’ as Sokratis Papastathopoulos did an excellent job marking the Barcelona star, even picking Messi’s pocket on several occasions. Not to mention Sotiris Ninis showed the world a flash of his talent that has priced him at a near 10 million euros should Panathinaikos decide to sell the prodigal midfielder this summer.
So for Maradona to question the officiating that has frankly been pro-Argentina so far this World Cup is outrageous. I’ve said this before; Maradona has a golden horseshoe up his arse. Surviving his drug addiction and weight problems to ultimately become coach of Argentina at a time where the country has their best-ever roster equals hitting the jackpot of the biggest payout.
^_^
“We’ve said it many times before. For me it’s about Fair Play. Every time [Lionel] Messi had the ball [the Greeks] fouled him to get the ball,” said Maradona in a news conference after the game.
“The Greeks played hard, but were not punished.”
Of course Maradona didn’t mention the illegal challenges put in by his players, particularly considering three Greek players went down to injury after some rough-stuff by the biggest sourpusses in the tournament.
A less pro-Argentina look at the match will show that the Argentines were no saints in their tackling, and frankly the Greeks were the most legal of Argentina’s opponents so far in marking Messi and the rest of the Albicelestes.
In fact, world football might have found the anecdote to ‘La Pulga’ as Sokratis Papastathopoulos did an excellent job marking the Barcelona star, even picking Messi’s pocket on several occasions. Not to mention Sotiris Ninis showed the world a flash of his talent that has priced him at a near 10 million euros should Panathinaikos decide to sell the prodigal midfielder this summer.
So for Maradona to question the officiating that has frankly been pro-Argentina so far this World Cup is outrageous. I’ve said this before; Maradona has a golden horseshoe up his arse. Surviving his drug addiction and weight problems to ultimately become coach of Argentina at a time where the country has their best-ever roster equals hitting the jackpot of the biggest payout.
^_^
Sex Offenders My Area! Are You Kidding Me?
f you live in the United States of America, and if you are a parent then surely you will care about this subject - sex offenders in your area. Here is a brief background of how this article came to be written.
We were a small group of normal well adjusted people having a dinner party. There was only eight of us, but it seems the perfect number of people and personalities to create an interesting dynamic. The conversation seemed to always be alive and with someone having an opposing views to challenge. It was a fun night.
Then the subject of sex offenders came up. This did nothing to slow down the debate or discourse - in fact things livened up. We all sat at the table with our drinks in hand, our bellies full from great foods as we charged into this subject with vigor. We all had something to say in no uncertain terms.
And then Mary asked how far away is our nearest sex offender living? Like, what a silly question - we live in a middle class area - all of us do. Why would a sex offender live near us? She called our mute responses out into the fore front of the discussion.
Mary said she will bet us that we have at least one sex offender living within a 10 minute walk from where we were sitting. Of course we all laughed and derided her as uninformed. How ridiculous this was becoming.
But Mary was not upset, she sat stoically and waited for us to calm our chiding of her and simply asked for access to the Internet. After the room did go quiet, we gave her a lap top with WIFI.
She was not busy for long. She simply typed in a website address, and then she typed the home address of our dinner party. The result did not alarm her - she seemed to expect it or be resigned to knowing it would happen. "Johnson Street," she said, "How far to the corner of here and Johnson Street?"
Now the room was very quiet, Johnson Street was our exact corner. No need to walk 10 minutes.
We lived at the corner of Johnson and 23rd. Walk out our door and we were there. On the other corner had lived a sex offender we even said hello to sometimes. And his thing was young boys. We have two young boys.
Sex offenders in your area? There sex offenders in my area!
We were a small group of normal well adjusted people having a dinner party. There was only eight of us, but it seems the perfect number of people and personalities to create an interesting dynamic. The conversation seemed to always be alive and with someone having an opposing views to challenge. It was a fun night.
Then the subject of sex offenders came up. This did nothing to slow down the debate or discourse - in fact things livened up. We all sat at the table with our drinks in hand, our bellies full from great foods as we charged into this subject with vigor. We all had something to say in no uncertain terms.
And then Mary asked how far away is our nearest sex offender living? Like, what a silly question - we live in a middle class area - all of us do. Why would a sex offender live near us? She called our mute responses out into the fore front of the discussion.
Mary said she will bet us that we have at least one sex offender living within a 10 minute walk from where we were sitting. Of course we all laughed and derided her as uninformed. How ridiculous this was becoming.
But Mary was not upset, she sat stoically and waited for us to calm our chiding of her and simply asked for access to the Internet. After the room did go quiet, we gave her a lap top with WIFI.
She was not busy for long. She simply typed in a website address, and then she typed the home address of our dinner party. The result did not alarm her - she seemed to expect it or be resigned to knowing it would happen. "Johnson Street," she said, "How far to the corner of here and Johnson Street?"
Now the room was very quiet, Johnson Street was our exact corner. No need to walk 10 minutes.
We lived at the corner of Johnson and 23rd. Walk out our door and we were there. On the other corner had lived a sex offender we even said hello to sometimes. And his thing was young boys. We have two young boys.
Sex offenders in your area? There sex offenders in my area!
Phil Jarvie is a professional writer with a simple passion to enjoy life. He writes about those subjects and experiences that touch his life from time to time. This time it has been the ability to quickly see online the sex offenders my area website and what we can all learn from it.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Phil_Jarvie
^_^
Low Cholesterol Pizza Recipes? You're Kidding!
That is the reaction for most people. But as soon as you try these simple low cholesterol pizza recipes, you'll know it's true.
Personally I love pizza. I can't live without the smell of freshly baked, cheesy tasting pizza with bunch of veggies or other stuff.
Every time I watch movie at home, I have to bake a pizza. Otherwise I do not enjoy myself watching the movie. Which is about once a week.
I think that having pizza once a week is not a bad thing. If you do not overeat of course. And if you know how to cook low fat low cholesterol pizza, you have nothing to be ashamed for.
Ok, let's stop talking, put on some chefs uniform and presto; you have just become healthy pizza chef.
Healthy Pizza Recipe Preparation:
When trying to prepare healthy pizza, start with a fat-free pizza dough or crust. I love to prepare pizza out of pita bread. For all pizza, use substitution like fat-free cheese, fat free tomato sauce, crushed red pepper or garlic (which has cholesterol lowering properties).
Just be creative. Follow the samples of low cholesterol pizza recipes below and let your imagination create something great.
Here are samples of my favorite pizza recipes
Breakfast Pizza
You can just scramble some egg whites and put it on the top of your pitta bread or fat-free pizza crust. If you can find whole-wheat one, you are better off.
Top it with:
-smoked turkey "bacon"
-grated fat-free cheddar cheese
-diced green onions
Bake or broil your pizza until cheese melts. Cool down for a 5 minutes and enjoy.
Vegetable Pizza
Start with a whole-wheat crust. Top it with these:
-fat free mozzarella cheese, shredded
-sliced mushrooms
-diced red and greed peppers
-diced onions
Again bake it as an example above. Until cheese is melted.
Hummus Pizza
On top of your crust spread fat free hummus and top with:
-diced tomatoes
-chopped parsley
-ground cumin
Bake or broil until heated through. About 10 minutes on 350 degrees F.
Like I said before, experiment with these samples and you can create your own low cholesterol low fat pizza.
Hope you will get a lot of good ideas on how to make great tasting, yet healthier pizza.
And remember, you can use pita bread, all vegetables on your pizza. You can also cut skinless chicken breasts on stripes, grill it using something like George Freeman Grill and add that on top of your pizza.
Use your imagination!
Personally I love pizza. I can't live without the smell of freshly baked, cheesy tasting pizza with bunch of veggies or other stuff.
Every time I watch movie at home, I have to bake a pizza. Otherwise I do not enjoy myself watching the movie. Which is about once a week.
I think that having pizza once a week is not a bad thing. If you do not overeat of course. And if you know how to cook low fat low cholesterol pizza, you have nothing to be ashamed for.
Ok, let's stop talking, put on some chefs uniform and presto; you have just become healthy pizza chef.
Healthy Pizza Recipe Preparation:
When trying to prepare healthy pizza, start with a fat-free pizza dough or crust. I love to prepare pizza out of pita bread. For all pizza, use substitution like fat-free cheese, fat free tomato sauce, crushed red pepper or garlic (which has cholesterol lowering properties).
Just be creative. Follow the samples of low cholesterol pizza recipes below and let your imagination create something great.
Here are samples of my favorite pizza recipes
Breakfast Pizza
You can just scramble some egg whites and put it on the top of your pitta bread or fat-free pizza crust. If you can find whole-wheat one, you are better off.
Top it with:
-smoked turkey "bacon"
-grated fat-free cheddar cheese
-diced green onions
Bake or broil your pizza until cheese melts. Cool down for a 5 minutes and enjoy.
Vegetable Pizza
Start with a whole-wheat crust. Top it with these:
-fat free mozzarella cheese, shredded
-sliced mushrooms
-diced red and greed peppers
-diced onions
Again bake it as an example above. Until cheese is melted.
Hummus Pizza
On top of your crust spread fat free hummus and top with:
-diced tomatoes
-chopped parsley
-ground cumin
Bake or broil until heated through. About 10 minutes on 350 degrees F.
Like I said before, experiment with these samples and you can create your own low cholesterol low fat pizza.
Hope you will get a lot of good ideas on how to make great tasting, yet healthier pizza.
And remember, you can use pita bread, all vegetables on your pizza. You can also cut skinless chicken breasts on stripes, grill it using something like George Freeman Grill and add that on top of your pizza.
Use your imagination!
You can learn more about best meal plans for diet and learn more about great meal plans and recipes that do not make you fat. Visit http://shrink-belly-fat.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bretislav_Slansky
:)
Who do you think you're kidding?
Andrew Mourant joins a group of would-be Green Berets on a gruelling two-day taster course at the Royal Marines' HQ
Royal Marine commandos have long been regarded as an elite fighting force.
Thirty-two weeks of stern training usually weeds out any fantasists and fainthearts foolish enough to apply.
An elite, maybe, but mythical supermen, no. That is a misconception the Marines want to dispel - one scarcely helped by a recent poster campaign adorned with the slogan: "99.99 per cent need not apply." Soon to be scrapped, this macho own goal has exasperated men on the ground whose job is to attract new blood.
They are keen to embrace all sorts. Many of the qualities for which they are looking are commonly found in college students on public-services courses. Such students have an appreciation of discipline and a structured life.
That is not so for some who arrive at the Marines' headquarters in Lympstone, near Exeter, to undergo a Potential Royal Marines Course lasting two-and-a-half days. What seemed a good idea in the careers office can come as a severe shock.
It is in everyone's interests if they know what to expect. Over the past two years, the Marines have encouraged would-be wearers of the green beret to sample the training routine at Lympstone. Their week-long Look at Life programme is a real and vigorous introduction.
Sergeant Steve Wright is a member of the Marines' visibility team. Part of his job is raising awareness of what the commandos are about. The opportunity to sample the life for real has grown increasingly popular.
"We do get repeat visits," he says. "Students want to come again when they've been once. Those on public-services courses can be ideal candidates - many are up to the fitness standards. One difficulty is the cultural change, but if they've been on a course, they're half way there."
Sergeant Wright, 40, became a Marine at 16. Most of his intake were the same age, but he doesn't recommend joining up so young. "Finish your A-levels or other qualifications first," he says.
On a windswept field, where BTec public-services students from Tamworth college tackle team-building exercises, Sergeant Ian Roy tells them to behave like "thinking soldiers".
"The Army is one thing; the Marines is another," he says.
Team-building - putting up a tent, retrieving fuel cans from an "electrified" compound and guiding an unsighted colleague through a minefield - is the second instalment of a gruelling day that begins at 8.30am with the swimming test.
Recruits in battle dress and carrying a rifle jump from an 8ft diving board, swim a length, and, while still in the pool, must hand over their weapons and extricate themselves from their gear.
Concessions are made to weaker swimmers but instructor Corporal Bart Ledger does not give up easily. A drama unfolds as one participant freezes on the diving board. His agony lasts 15 minutes before he slides into the water, and the corporal is satisfied. While the ability to swim is not an entry requirement, a non-swimmer recruit starts learning at once and takes the test within 15 weeks.
After team-building, students are shown the Marines' weaponry: the bayonet ("it has blood channels, it doesn't create a vacuum and is easier to pull out") and an anti-tank gun "that will turn the occupants into soup".
At lunchtime the students seem eager for more, which is as well because the assault course awaits them. A stiff breeze whips off the River Exe as everyone attacks the course with gusto.
Luke Deeley, 17, mulled over a career in the marines for some time. "This is the point where you can make up your mind, and coming down here has pretty well done that," he says. "For the rest of the year, I can aim for what I want, knowing what they will expect."
Captain Phil Robinson, soon to take charge of officer selection at Lympstone, sees the Look at Life initiative as a way forward. "There's been poor co-ordination and dislocation between the recruitment office and our base, although we are now trying to get better links," he says.
"There's a need for something between the careers office and people turning up for the Potential Royal Marines Course.
"We'll start doing things so they can come down here for a day or two and see what's expected. Hopefully, they'll then be better prepared."
Royal Marine commandos have long been regarded as an elite fighting force.
Thirty-two weeks of stern training usually weeds out any fantasists and fainthearts foolish enough to apply.
An elite, maybe, but mythical supermen, no. That is a misconception the Marines want to dispel - one scarcely helped by a recent poster campaign adorned with the slogan: "99.99 per cent need not apply." Soon to be scrapped, this macho own goal has exasperated men on the ground whose job is to attract new blood.
They are keen to embrace all sorts. Many of the qualities for which they are looking are commonly found in college students on public-services courses. Such students have an appreciation of discipline and a structured life.
That is not so for some who arrive at the Marines' headquarters in Lympstone, near Exeter, to undergo a Potential Royal Marines Course lasting two-and-a-half days. What seemed a good idea in the careers office can come as a severe shock.
It is in everyone's interests if they know what to expect. Over the past two years, the Marines have encouraged would-be wearers of the green beret to sample the training routine at Lympstone. Their week-long Look at Life programme is a real and vigorous introduction.
Sergeant Steve Wright is a member of the Marines' visibility team. Part of his job is raising awareness of what the commandos are about. The opportunity to sample the life for real has grown increasingly popular.
"We do get repeat visits," he says. "Students want to come again when they've been once. Those on public-services courses can be ideal candidates - many are up to the fitness standards. One difficulty is the cultural change, but if they've been on a course, they're half way there."
Sergeant Wright, 40, became a Marine at 16. Most of his intake were the same age, but he doesn't recommend joining up so young. "Finish your A-levels or other qualifications first," he says.
On a windswept field, where BTec public-services students from Tamworth college tackle team-building exercises, Sergeant Ian Roy tells them to behave like "thinking soldiers".
"The Army is one thing; the Marines is another," he says.
Team-building - putting up a tent, retrieving fuel cans from an "electrified" compound and guiding an unsighted colleague through a minefield - is the second instalment of a gruelling day that begins at 8.30am with the swimming test.
Recruits in battle dress and carrying a rifle jump from an 8ft diving board, swim a length, and, while still in the pool, must hand over their weapons and extricate themselves from their gear.
Concessions are made to weaker swimmers but instructor Corporal Bart Ledger does not give up easily. A drama unfolds as one participant freezes on the diving board. His agony lasts 15 minutes before he slides into the water, and the corporal is satisfied. While the ability to swim is not an entry requirement, a non-swimmer recruit starts learning at once and takes the test within 15 weeks.
After team-building, students are shown the Marines' weaponry: the bayonet ("it has blood channels, it doesn't create a vacuum and is easier to pull out") and an anti-tank gun "that will turn the occupants into soup".
At lunchtime the students seem eager for more, which is as well because the assault course awaits them. A stiff breeze whips off the River Exe as everyone attacks the course with gusto.
Luke Deeley, 17, mulled over a career in the marines for some time. "This is the point where you can make up your mind, and coming down here has pretty well done that," he says. "For the rest of the year, I can aim for what I want, knowing what they will expect."
Captain Phil Robinson, soon to take charge of officer selection at Lympstone, sees the Look at Life initiative as a way forward. "There's been poor co-ordination and dislocation between the recruitment office and our base, although we are now trying to get better links," he says.
"There's a need for something between the careers office and people turning up for the Potential Royal Marines Course.
"We'll start doing things so they can come down here for a day or two and see what's expected. Hopefully, they'll then be better prepared."
